Orange Envelopes | Small Business Optimized Marketing > By Design

My desktop scanner stopped working yesterday. I don’t know why. It worked the day before, and the day before that. But the capricious gods who oversee all that is right and just with OS X software drivers somehow decreed that my HP scanner would no longer be recognized.

Little did I know that by downloading a new 200MB driver from the HP website, that I would be pitting two supreme forces against each other: the despotic and high-handed HP vs the virtuous and obliging Apple OS.

You’ll Take It and Like It
There’s something about the PC world that invites heavy handed behavior. Anyone who has bought a PC from Dell or HP knows what I’m talking about. From the moment you first boot the system, you have to deal with uninvited pleas to activate unnecessary and unwanted bloatware. Your desktop is filled with software icons whose makers have bribed the computer manufacturer to impose their clutter on your system.

You’re never asked if you want these applications. They’re simply forced upon you. Without any convenient way to remove them permanently from your desktop, your disk and your life.

It’s no wonder, then that the computer manufacturers’ imperious attitude carries over into their software drivers as well.

What’s Yours Is Mine
To get the driver I needed, HP made me to download a 200MB file (that’s right, 200 megabytes for a scanner driver) so they could force me to install 11 unwanted HP PhotoSmart software programs, in addition to the driver. Moreover, the installation process resulted in the installation of two additional HP icons in my precious Dock. They never asked permission for this intrusion. They never asked if I even wanted these applications. They just installed themselves, decided to sit in the front row of my desktop and dared me to remove them.

This behavior was designed intentionally into their installation processes. In the spirit of corporate transparency, their software should come outfitted with brownshirts and jackboots. They reflect a corporate hubris and reflexive arrogance that defines their relationships and influences their user experiences.

Showing True Character
There’s only one reason why HP did not design a permission process into their driver installation routine: they were afraid that I’d say “No.” They didn’t want to make any special effort to persuade me of the virtues of their software. They didn’t want to cajole or entice me to evaluate their software. They didn’t anticipate that I would already have more sophisticated applications already installed that would perform the same duties as their software. They considered their peculiar, self-serving motivations and crammed their software onto my system and shoehorned their icons front and center on my dock.

And in doing so, HP revealed their true character. Their authentic personality no longer resides behind layers of packaged messages and slick advertising, but is revealed in the imposition of their rapacious corporate desire to have their software installed on as many systems as possible.

Lessons Learned
It’s the last HP product I’ll ever buy. And their behavior offers clear lessons for other companies:

• It’s not all about you. Sure, you want your product in as many hands as possible. But forcing your prospects and clients to accept your product is no way to forge a relationship. Consider their needs, convince them of your virtues and…
• Gain permission. You want to do business with me? Ask. Demonstrate your value. Make it easy for me to demo your product or service, and…
• Start a conversation. Let me ask questions. Provide easy answers. Introduce me to others who use your product successfully. Let me talk with them without moderation. Stay in touch and…
• Build a relationship. Spend time learning what I really need and demonstrating how you can solve my problems. Can you save me time? Money? Frustration? Tell me. Then show me. If your value is genuine, I’ll come around. And I’ll trust you. Something HP will never have from me again.

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